Every few months, Grandfather came to town,
staying at the Ramada Inn, none of his three children
willing or able to put him up for even a night.
My brother and I sat frozen, each perched
on a corner of the stiff bed, and told him
about our work at school, why we quit piano,
why we quit the Boy Scouts, quit baseball,
why we sent no thank-you note for the last visit.
He’d grown up an hour away, in the coal mines,
eating lard sandwiches, building the rail lines, tie by tie.
Better on paper, he laughed in letters, sending me
rhyming verse about the funny things his dogs did,
a series of wiry Weimaraners allowed to roam
the house we never could, go in every single room,
even sprawl on the plastic-covered couches.
But in person, he was an interrogation. He’d always
take us to dinner, cursorily, somewhere close by,
my brother and I crammed into the front seat
of the wood-paneled wagon, trying to remember
the CB lingo he’d taught us, helping him spot bear bait
so we didn’t get bear bites. We knew everything was a test.
We knew we’d fail. Eating, he’d critique our technique,
reprimand us if we used our hands to grab a single
french fry, piece of bacon, ask no one in particular,
What have they been teaching these children?
We were so confused, trying, then, to spear the food
with forks, fit the long oblongs into our mouths.
He was making up for decades of lessons he missed,
busy with his second-try wife. He’d order the best dish
at the cheapest restaurant—steak and eggs
at Bob Evans, the filet at Hoss’s Steakhouse,
disappointed every time, the meat unyielding.
Calling over the pimpled server, he’d scream:
Would you eat this? He stabbed it again, his hand
shaking with age, with rage. Well, would you?
And we waited for the young man’s response,
afraid to breathe, at the edges of our seats,
asking him with our eyes, Is it possible
to defy this man? And, if so, will you show us how?
–
Jessica Manack holds degrees from Hollins University and lives with her family in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Her work has appeared widely in literary journals and has been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. She is the author of Gastromythology (Sheila-Na-Gig Editions, 2024).