Look Back to Yesterday by Tara Lynn Marta
Adelaide Books, 2020
Look Back to Yesterday, a novel by Tara Lynn Marta, is a deeply intimate look at grief, family dynamics, and characterization. Rebecca, a thirty-three-year-old woman, is left feeling alone and without a concrete future after the breakup with her boyfriend and the death of her parents. Recently losing her father conjures up memories and feelings of abandonment from her mother’s death when Rebecca was nine-years-old. Unable to deal with her grief, Rebecca lives in the past instead of moving forward. Rebecca’s metaphorical living in the past suddenly becomes reality when she falls asleep on the subway only to awake to an all-too-familiar scene of her actual past: 1980s Brooklyn.
Marta’s work shines because of her overarching metaphor throughout the novel and her character construction. The time travel aspect of the novel is the manifestation of Rebecca’s grief. While on the subway ride to the past, Rebecca’s seatmate, a mysterious stranger, peels an orange and the two have the following exchange:
“See these peels? Think of them as layers of the past.”
“What are you getting at?” I scowled.
“When the peels are removed the orange isn’t the same anymore. Now, you can try to put the peels back on, but you can’t. That’s how it is with the past. You can’t put it back together, because it will never be the same.”
The stranger’s metaphor annoyed me, but I played his hand. “OK, what are you supposed to do then?” […]
“You learn from it and let go.”
“I don’t have anything to learn,” I responded in defiance.
Marta lays the groundwork of her metaphor early: the past cannot be relived without consequences for one’s present and future. However, Marta takes her metaphor a step further by offering a true characterization of a person in grief. Rebecca’s grief is all consuming. It affects the choices she makes and how she interacts with those around her. At times, including in her interaction with the stranger, Rebecca can seem impolite. When Rebecca interacts with the past version of her family, she is often impulsive, secretive, and illogical. These characteristics of a person grieving make her a formidable opponent as she is at odds with her younger self.
While this may seem like Rebecca is unlikeable, Marta’s writing paints Rebecca as an extremely affable and engaging woman. While female characters are often forced to be personable and incapable of making mistakes, Marta writes a true to life woman with faults, who allows readers to see the characteristics of grief, which they have, at one time or another, all embodied.
As readers see themselves in Rebecca, they are reminded of the times grief has made them seem irrational, short tempered, and blinded. Rebecca is a refreshing portrait of a young woman trying to reconcile her past with her future. Because Rebecca is a true-to-life portrayal and not a caricature, the reader becomes sympathetic and caring towards Rebecca. At times in the novel, when Rebecca feels alone, either because of life events or her own choices, she has the support of the reader.
By being willing to take a risk and show Rebecca’s “faults,” Marta gifts readers with a unique look into themselves. There is no doubt that Look Back to Yesterday will help many grieving readers feel less alone and come to terms with those they miss.
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Sara Pisak is an editor, reviewer, essayist, and poet. Sara recently published with Door is a Jar, The Deaf Poets Society, Five:2:One, and Northern Appalachia Review, among others. When not writing, Sara can be found spending time with her family and friends. Follow her writing adventures on Twitter @SaraPisak10.