“[S]uicide is the leading cause of death
for Utah youths ages 10 to 17.
The state’s suicide rate for all ages is more than
60 percent above the national average.”
– Luke Ramseth, Salt Lake Tribune, 2018
Lady of Skewered Heart, of Flayed Breast,
drape the mirrors and dress us
in black. At night, feed us
rich food, even if everything tastes of ash
and sadness, when you come to collect
last notes strung on blood
red thread, cartridges spent, ropes and belts
swaying from ceiling fans, toes skimming linoleum. O, Lady,
aren’t you late? We could’ve used grace
an hour ago, a week, a year. Mother, we’ve lost many. We’ve failed,
are failing. Maker, make us a hex
against forgetting. In your pockets, a chisel for our stone
hearts. Engrave our flesh
with names: Nicholas. Nicole. Stuart. Clay.
Bryan. Braxton. Leelah. Lincoln. Harry. Avery. Jack.
Unnamed.
Unnamed.
Unnamed.
Do you gather them as a snake
coils around her soft eggs,
souls encircled by your muscle, your mail, your
protective venom? Serpentine Mother, we’re cracked open, raw. Slitted and
split wide. Instead of scars, let these wounds be enough to bleed
our coldness, our poison, our nicks
and barbs. Better us, Lady of Kiln & Clay. Fix us, fit us with minds
soft under the press of your thumbs,
shaped by your big, your generous molding, so we resolve:
Not one more. All worthy of love.
–
Dayna Patterson was born and raised in Utah. She is the author of Titania in Yellow (Porkbelly Press, 2019) and If Mother Braids a Waterfall (Signature Books, 2020). Her creative work has appeared recently in POETRY, Ruminate, and Westerly. She is the founding editor-in-chief of Psaltery & Lyre and a co-editor of Dove Song: Heavenly Mother in Mormon Poetry.